🛡️ Sir Pudge the Watchful
Defender of Sofas, Custodian of Cosiness, Guardian of Snacks
Crocheted in the warm glow of a rainy canal evening, Sir Pudge the Watchful is a noble gonk of truly generous proportions — in heart, humour, and hips. With his impressively pudgy tummy (belted for dramatic effect), squat, sturdy stance, and helmet glinting with a golden cross, Sir Pudge is always ready to defend your household... preferably from a seated position.
While he looks like he’s battle-ready, the only battles Sir Pudge has ever fought involve tangled yarn, runaway biscuits, and claiming the comfiest spot on the sofa. Make no mistake though — he takes his duties very seriously. He’s a steadfast guardian of all things handmade, watching over your crafting corner with noble resolve and the occasional biscuit crumb in his beard.
Legend has it he once bravely stood between a teetering yarn tower and an open window and didn’t flinch (okay, he toppled over, but it was the intent that mattered). His squishy bottom, it turns out, is excellent for absorbing impact — and sitting perfectly still for long stretches of the day.
Sir Pudge is the kind of gonk who prefers diplomacy over drama and cuddles over combat. He believes that honour can be upheld with a good snack, a firm belly pat, and a strong stance (preferably next to a tea tray). Loyal, charming, and ever-watchful (except when napping), he’s ready to stand guard over your home — or at least plop down and pretend to.
---
Take him home and give him a soft place to sit. He’s been trained to sit perfectly still, snore softly, and never — ever — tell where you hide your secret chocolate.